Most of the time, chocolate toothpaste is a silly fantasy because quite frankly the chocolate and sugar is going to rot one’s teeth. However, a real, honest-to-goodness, chocolate toothpaste, called Theodent, has been concocted and is available for sale though it isn’t quite what one thinks.
Chocolate toothpaste is unfortunately not actually chocolate
Believe it or not, there are some people who don’t actually like chocolate. Granted, these people are Philistines and as such need not be paid attention to. For the rest of us, chocolate is awesome though it’s certainly best to indulge only in moderation.
Some have dreamed about how to introduce chocolate into other things besides candy. Chocolate can add flavor to beer, such as nice dark porter or stout, goes wonderfully well with coffee and so on. Some have mused how wonderful it might be to have chocolate toothpaste.
The latter camp may be tickled to know, according to the Daily Mail, that a company called Theodent has introduced a chocolate toothpaste. Unfortunately, though, it isn’t actually made from chocolate, but is made from the cocoa bean.
Mostly comes in mint
Ordinarily chocolate toothpaste would be a sign to begin feasting upon the lambs, sloths, carp, anchovies, orangutans, breakfast cereals, fruit bats and so forth. However, there is, of course, the catch, that Theodent doesn’t come in a chocolate flavor, except, according to Theodent’s website, the kid’s formula. Theodent children’s toothpaste comes in chocolate chip, the two other formulas are just mint.
Instead, the not chocolate toothpaste uses the same base ingredient, namely the cocoa bean. Dr. Tetsu Nakamoto, head of Theodent, isolated a compound in the cocoa bean in the late 1980s called theobromine, a compound also present in chocolate. Dr. Nakamoto figured out a proprietary way to extract theobromine from cocoa beans, into a compound the company calls Rennou.
Theobromine has similar medicinal properties to fluoride, which most toothpaste contains, namely that it strengthens tooth enamel. Tooth enamel is basically crystals on the tooth’s surface, acting like armor. According to WBRZ, a New Orleans ABC affiliate, Rennou enlarges the crystals, just as fluoride. However, theobromine isn’t toxic, which fluoride is in large quantities. That’s why they say not to swallow it.
Theodent has passed clinical trials meaning it’s natural, safer and effective, a triple threat. It can be purchased online or at Whole Foods for $10, so it’s not even that much money to get.
If one must
However, if the let-down of chocolate toothpaste not existing is just too much, there are alternatives. One can purchase toothpaste from a company called Accoutrements, which sells cupcake flavored toothpaste. The ingredients are things one would find in any other toothpaste. Other flavors include
Stop the presses
Accoutrements also sells bacon flavored toothpaste. To heck with chocolate toothpaste, that’s better. Everything is better with bacon.