Foolproof methods for staying in debt

With these simple steps, it can all be yours! Image: Jay Tamboli/Flickr/CC BY

Somebody once said ignorance is bliss, and it can be. Why should the Contented Debt-Strapped Consumer (CD-SC) worry about the future implications of staggeringly overwhelming obligations, lowered credit ratings, bankruptcy and ruin? There are many tried and true methods of increasing and extending debt.

1. Debt schmebt

The surest way for a CD-SC to not be bothered by pesky debt is to simply ignore it. From there all things are possible. Those arguments with a spouse, that constant gnawing feeling in the gut, those probably have nothing to do with debt. And it’s so easy to hide bills under another stack of bills.

Even people who pay their bills on time can benefit from this foolproof method. As long as one makes minimal credit card payments, is still able to use credit card transfers to keep up with other debts and creditors are not calling, it’s  fine, right?

2. Exercise that wallet arm

CD-SCs spend without regard to how much they owe or how much will be left for the rest of the week. If one can’t live without it, buy it. If one can live without it but wants it anyway, buy it. If one can maybe find a use for it someday, buy it.

The true CD-SC knows that cooking is a lot of trouble, so he or she eats out often. And if it costs more with shrimp, then shrimp it is. Remember, you’re already in debt, so you might as well keep piling it on.

3. A borrower be

Maybe the bank won’t give the experienced CD-SC any more loans, but there is almost always an aunt or a nephew who hasn’t been tapped out yet. Or maybe one or two friends who haven’t been hit up in a while.

Never forget pawn shops. That must-have guitar. That new video game. Those things can keep an industrious CD-SC consuming.

4. Stupid equity

The CD-SC doesn’t worry about foolish things like equity. The purpose here is to ignore debt. So a CD-SC always goes for those big ticket items. Buying things provides short-lived but delicious moments of “oh, look what I have!” So never hesitate to scrape together down payments when dazzled by big, shiny things. It can be yours — for now. The CD-SC lives in the moment.

5. Wild cards

One last tip. The well-seasoned CD-SC never, never turns down a credit card offer, whether it comes in the mail, is seen on TV or on the Internet. It is simply impossible to have too many credit cards.

By sticking to these simple guidelines, a committed CD-SC can look forward to a continuing spiral of poverty, legal action and ruin. It may be a rough landing, but what a ride!

Sources

Wallet Pop
Studenomics
CESI 

Previous Article

« Contests for free business rent helping reinvigorate downtowns

The cost of starting a business can be very high. A retail space, storefront or office adds to the overhead costs of a business, especially in the first few years. Several small and mid-size towns are attempting to reinvigorate their downtown areas by offering businesses a year of free rent. The [...]

Next Article

All that glitters might be a scam »

For the past few years, there has been an explosion of attention paid to investing in gold because gold prices are skyrocketing. The price of gold is certainly going up, and that also means that gold scams are a danger. Gold the hottest new old commodity For some time, there has been [...]